Today's mothers live in a fairly different world. Babies also grow quickly in the early months and they have very small stomachs. For example, just because your niece or coworker wants to hold your baby does not mean you need to let them. Its just that those first few weeks are such a precious time, especially as a brand-new parent. Doing so will cocoon the baby from outside germs, says Dr. Ahmed. Am I being a bad parent by letting my five-year-old sleep in our bed. Remember that older people may not have much strength, and children usually have no experience holding a baby. policy. "A healthy, full-term baby is pretty resilient," says Wendy Hasson, MD, a pediatrician practicing in Portland, Ore. I personally think you are overreacting. Your email address will not be published. Parenting.Firstcry.com accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations. Sick people should not hold your baby. for a while - this time of year there are just too many bugs going So we did it. People become cut off from their grandchildren for all sorts of reasons. , 400px wide But this schedule can work for other relatives and friends who can hold out a little longer until baby has started their vaccination schedule. In the 1950s, stays of one week to 10 days were standard. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. 2023 SheMedia, LLC. , 300px wide So if someone wants to see the baby, they have to have a recent TDaP vaccine, and absolutely no one should get near the baby if they havent been vaccinated against Covid. Dr. Alexander adds: Very serious infections such as sepsis or meningitis are possible during the first few months of life. . Many grandparents are confused and hurt by these decisions. Reasons Why Parents May Prevent Grandparents From Seeing a Newborn. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. The parents may not want an audience as they get used to handling and changing their newborn. The ideal time is when your child is about two months old, but everyone knows that it is not so easy to keep visitors away for so long, and most parents do not want to be isolated for as long anyway. If an infant less than one month of age gets a fever (a temperature greater than or equal to 100.4), that child needs to be admitted to . I just make people wash/santitize their hands first. Moms with newborns - not letting people hold your baby? This week, one first-time mum asks if refusing to engage in Pass The Baby is acceptable or just plain rude. Seeing other people hold her, even the people I loved most, made me feel like a part of me was missing. Everyone has been chomping at the bit to see your baby. That's a lot of I doubt very much the government are going to announce any time soon that everyone can go ahead and hug no matter how safe it is now in reality so we made our own risk assessment. Newborns that get sick are most often hospitalize, My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. Simple yet common rules for our baby we thought. Lyndsey Garbi, MD, is a pediatrician who is double board-certified in pediatrics and neonatology. No parents, no friends, no visitors. I started to wish that my husband and I had tried cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news recently, where parents hole up in their home with their newborn for a few weeks just them, no visitors at all (not even grandparents). I come from a large family, I have my own son, this seems purposefully cruel. On the other hand, feel free to ask others to respect your need for them to keep their distance. Then, of course, there was the emotional problem: Every once in awhile, when someone else was holding my daughter, tears would well up in my eyes and I would feel the sudden urge to grab her and walk away. Newborn babies who are getting formula will likely take about 2-3 ounces every 2-4 hours. Of course youre not being unreasonable! 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, 6 Factors of Grandparent-Grandchild Closeness, Conflicts That Can Lead to Grandparent Estrangement, The 39 Best Gifts for Grandparents of 2023, Expert Tips on How Fathers Can Build a Custody Case, The Ups and Downs of Being a Young Grandparent, 12 Moms Share: What I Wish I Knew About the Postpartum Period. Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. Nearly everyone wants to take a peekor even have a cuddle. The parents don't want the burden of having to offer food and drinks or otherwise entertain their guests. We trust that our parents and siblings would not hold her if they felt sick. "Have a core set of helpers and visitors that you know are up to date on their protective vaccines," says Dr. Hasson. Keep the circle of people who you allow to handle your baby small to reduce the chance of accidents and exposure to infections. Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. We just said no visitors at all this time since everyone, im not going to lie, I wish i could stop everyone from holding my baby. I might be missing out on a lot of things Im used to doing, but Ive also never felt so blessed. Come over to the Jan/Feb boards and you can see numerous parents of babies who were taken to the ER and admitted to the NICU because they got RSV in their first two months. Arriving unannounced. ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. Create an email alert based on the current article, The Explainer is a weekly podcast from TheJournal.ie that takes a deeper look at one big news story you need to know about. Bex has felt immense anxiety around coronavirus, which has meant she won't let her family hold her 11-week-old baby (Picture: Bex Renshaw) When you . But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. More than 5,000 readers have already pitched in to keep free access to The Journal. The most important step when carrying or holding your newborn is to support your baby's head and neck at all times. Sharing life's big events with family makes them all that more special. Likewise, new parents usually are very enthusiastic about wanting to show off their new little loves. I worry that shell pick up a cold or virus, which I know is unlikely but I cant help it. But when can visitors see your newborn? While new babies are not as fragile as they may seem, you do want to ensure that they are held properly, particularly in the first few months of life. I resisted the urge to be rude and demand to have my baby back. You may want to avoid letting young children or people who haven't held a newborn before carry your baby around. posts, comments and submissions available. Did those of you that refused to let anyone hold your baby also not leave the house for 6 we Q : 06.25.10 W : 01.11.13 #3 : due 11.02.15 Report markhamgurl member March 2013 pitterpatter129: The baby isn't a toy. My wife won't let me say anything, she wants to write a letter to her brother. Feel free to be a mama bear, It's up to you what you ask of your visitors. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. It's not your baby. Weve never been so exhausted or so happy! BFP May 11, 2012 Some expectant parents say that they aren't taking hospital visitors. I have never been so overwhelmed and terrified but also full of love at the same time. Others say that the grandparents won't be allowed to visit their newborn grandchild for the first few weeks or even months. Like she was afraid of all the Germs or something. Healthy newborns don't need cereal, water, juice or other fluids. Is this reader being unreasonable? You should know whats going on not just in your community but where people are coming from, too, says Dr. Schaffner. EACH WEEK IN our series,Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who cant figure out what to do about a tricky parenting situation. Try not to expose your newborn (less than one month of age) to more people than necessary, and avoid all people with infectious diseases like colds and the flu! If possible, do not allow others to handle your baby for too long as your little one may become over-stimulated, and they will need their rest. 1. Readers like you keep news free for everyone. They are creating a protected period for forming a family unit. The baby isn't a toy. As eager as grandparents may be to get acquainted with their newborn grandchild, they should understand that it is equally important to get off on the right foot with the new parents. Also Read:How to Hold an Infant Properly? Then she passes by that little baby face, and . Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. m. moonlitGalaxy. Third-handsmoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke. We are dealing with the same thing right now. A newborns immune system is its strongest in that first week. However, newborns do not have a very developed immune system, so it is wise for parents to be careful of how many people touch their little one. There should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the one doing the holding. And of course, part of family bonding when a new baby is born is all about the cuddles; holding, touching and interacting with the baby in a normal and happy way. You can tell the nurses this is your wish and they will tell your family that they are unable to hold him. Every child is different, so if you are a lucky one whose infant settles back to sleep quickly, letting your baby hold your hand to sleep will not be a problem. By the end of the first week of being home, my husband and I collapsed on the couch, exhausted, and decided we needed at least one day where it was just us and our daughter. They never mentioned the FLU/sickness etc.. Second to the "toy" folks, please read pos. Being outside has a much lower risk than being inside, says Dr. Schaffner. In their first two months, newborns are at the highest risk of infection, warns Dr. Hasson. Maybe then we would have felt less overwhelmed. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! Hold your baby. Lay your baby, stomach down, across your forearm with the head up toward your elbow. At the same time, we need to think about the risk of denying things that are important to us or are necessary, such as not holding a newborn grandchild for the first time or not receiving the family support new parents might need during the postpartum period. I offered to let my mom and mil hold him, but I also knew they were. Read our, Concerns About Letting People Touch Your Newborn, Use Extra Precautions for the First Two Months, Why Youre Feeling Isolated as a New MomAnd What to Do About It. Some parents will be more than happy to hand off the baby for a while. 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