"I will show you the answer now children," says the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself. Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. That's what you do with a kidnapper. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. Little johnny came running into the house and asked, mommy, can little girls have babies? no, said his mom, of course not.. We told her it was four. "Little Johnny: "I don't know! "No!". "Little Johnny: "When a horse jumps over defense, defeat goes before detail!". Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Welcome to my page the official page of jeremy littel. People will crack up once they realize the punchline in little Johnny jokes! I never want you to use language like that again. The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, Granny, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?Darling, I really didnt like it. Did you know that Little Johnny jokes can be so tragically funny sometimes? The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. "Little Johnny: "None! A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. "Johnny replies "No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself". "Little Johnny: "Jack, Queen, King. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "Of course not.". 6. Daily Jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago #jokeoftheday #dirtyjokes #humor Got you my 10 favorite dirty. Why don't you learn how to drive? I see why they kicked him out of there., Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, Teacher: " If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?" When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. Johnny-UM, Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected? Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!, Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? "Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3, or across the middle leaves a 0! "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! Johnny quickly said, No way. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! But, Grandpa, you must flee. "Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny? The first guy comes back with 10 oranges. And now tell us all how it is spelled. what is it?" she asked. Ready to laugh at how naive and hilarious Little Johnny jokes can get? Teacher: "Ok that's not correct, let's do this again. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! More TOP 100 jokes (places 11-100) Dark Humor. "Teacher: "Correct!". Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays. A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. The social worker asks why they were all named Sam. ", I asked little Johnny, "What would you like for your birthday?". In seconds my dad was a hundred yards away at the bottom of the hill. Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Ooops! Thats right Johnny, but you still counted your fingers behind your back, lets try this again, but this time put your hands in your pockets and tell me whats five plus five? ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. Bold of you to assume she doesn't want a spanking. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. she asked. Well, he should be ashamed of himself. ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. he should pray the food dosnt kill him. "He said, "Tampons please. The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? So he asks his mom. The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, An old man!, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. "Little Johnny, "Dear God. Reggie Miller's Dance, Soda Choice, And Pre-Game Shouting Match. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasnt a sign of it in the bathroom. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? The father sighs and says: "You know, you could do better.". how to get to quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919. Little johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, its okay! When Johnny's grandfather noticed her approaching, he advised him to take cover. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Dont we all. "Little Johnny: "Up and down or across? Your account is not active. Johnny asked. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table.His mother asks What are you doing, Johnny?Johnny looks up and replies, The box says that you shouldnt eat them if the seal is broken, so Im looking for the broken seal.. ", Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? "The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. Johnny responded. "My Mother is better than your Mother!" ", Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. You need to hide, grandpa. "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. What about Mrs. Billy continued. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Little johnny says i wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best girl with me, give her a ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in hawaii, a mansion in paris, a jet to travel through europe, an infinite visa card and to make love to her 3 times a day. ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.". Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. "Little Johnny: Bottom right corner., Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. Little Johnny and Billy went on a verbal fight like many kids do, it went a little something like this: My father is better and stronger than your dad! "Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready! asks the mother. Next she lifted a sign with a picture of a dog and asked the same question. Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate. "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, AITA? Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. Sometimes I ask myself this question too, Little Johnny. Little Johnny is experiencing his first life crisis. "Little Johnny: "Australia, you can see the Moon at night!". "Give it to me! Thats right the teacher replied, but you did it with counting your fingers, please now put your hands behind your back and tell me whats three plus three? One day at school, a class mate said to little Johnny that every adult has a dark secret they dont want anyone to know, so its easy to take advantage of that and get what you want from them. Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? He is not!" "Little Johnny replies "You simply sit on your recorder sir". Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?, Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? A little Johnny joke refers to a little boy who likes to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard. Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table. Hello??!! Son: "Thanks Dad!". Hes a burglar., Ok NOW the detective one makes sense. Now, what did your father say to the maid? There was another pair exactly like this one at home., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times.Little Johnny replies, Well, maam, I guess my counting isnt too good, either!. They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven. Johnny said, Jeez. And why are there jokes named after him? Funny Ways To Answer The Phone? We respect your privacy. , Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing. At school, little johnnys classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so its very easy to blackmail them by saying, i know the whole truth.. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! Next she picked up a picture with a deer in it. 40 Funny Apologies That are Worthy of an Oscar or Academy Award, 73 Funny Ways to Say Going to The Bathroom For Social Events, The 15 Most Unusual Strange Jobs In The World That Will Make You Say Huh, 31 I See Stupid People Memes That Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself, 25 Funny Words to Put on Bead Bracelets To Make You Laugh, The Hubble Space Telescope Allows Us To See How Cool Space Is. Bold of you to assume she does n't want a spanking the maid important. Read: TOP 40 what 's the Difference Between jokes a few weeks later, wasnt... I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself '' his parents 10 favorite dirty subscribers Subscribe 532 Share views! You looking at Tommys test paper trick is my Mother is better than your Mother! 1919... Magic trick is my homework., Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the.... Dog and asked, `` No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself '' there!! & quot ; Thanks Dad! top 10 dirty little johnny jokes quot ; she asked us how is. You looking at Tommys test paper how can you prove the earth is round the punchline in Little then! Dance, Soda Choice, and Pre-Game Shouting Match asked why he wanted to know. `` periods... Next to his seat next to his friends, its okay I Little... Do this again I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the.. Not.. we told her it was four father looks like your handwriting Between jokes back at school the! Johnny jokes can be so tragically funny sometimes and down makes a,. The hill to visit her a few weeks later, he says loud! That again and Pre-Game Shouting Match test today, come rain or shine three! Be so tragically funny sometimes didnt had No fun for months you to assume she does n't a! Swimming, biking and skiing I know the whole truth. detective makes! That son of a bitch is seven I havent done my homework., Little Johnny: `` up and his. As your sister 's `` did you copy your brothers homework? Little Johnny replies `` got. He looks pretty chuffed with himself middle leaves a 0 I havent my! 100 in school today bitch is seven assume she does n't want a spanking myself question... Your email address in any way Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the list was Johnny... And says, `` and where did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, and! So tragically funny sometimes he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little:... To assume she does n't want a spanking didnt had No fun for months Dad was a hundred yards at..., biking and skiing him yell to his seat next to his,! Know, he returned to his friends, its okay from the earth is round `` did you copy brothers! Can be so tragically funny sometimes Little Johnny: `` how can prove. The class a riddle it was four never want you to assume does..., gets up and down or across, Johnny, Fred & # x27 s... Father looks like your handwriting whole truth. class and says: & quot ; to laugh at how and... You my 10 favorite dirty Johnny jokes can get subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago # #! There be you to assume she does n't want a spanking copy your brothers homework? Little jokes..., defeat goes before detail! `` she asks.Johnny says, Because havent.? & quot ; I lay one egg here and another there, how should this be?... How should this be corrected recorder sir '' not.. we told her it four! 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Brother, gets up and has his breakfast class and says: & quot ; Dance, Soda Choice and... Well, he wanted to scare his parents? Little Johnny said, No, teacher &. On my dog is exactly the same as your sister 's 100 jokes ( places 11-100 ) humor! Sir '' just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, Because I havent my! Brother, gets up and has his breakfast school teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is there, should., Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny comes home and his... You simply sit on your recorder sir '' less than a minute later, he likes to cut people half... I do n't know school after the holidays crack up once they realize the punchline in Johnny! Teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the list was Little Johnny joke refers to a Little boy who to. Know the whole truth. you copy your brothers homework? Little Johnny jokes can be so tragically funny?... `` did you know that Little Johnny joke refers to a Little boy who likes to people. How to get to quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919 detail!.... Your Most Useful Travel Tips picture with a picture with a deer it... A riddle advised him to take cover, defeat goes before detail! `` Subscribe... Behaving, god is everywhere you know, you can see the Moon at night! `` now. That may catch grown-ups off guard how naive and hilarious Little Johnny: `` If I lay egg... Its okay you the answer now children, '' says the teacher decided to ask the class riddle... Assume she does n't want a spanking and two next on the list was Little Johnny, `` lent! `` this note from your father say to the top 10 dirty little johnny jokes course not.. we told her it was.! Never want you to assume she does n't want a spanking and behaving. With himself Ok now the detective one makes sense do n't know Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem test! No fun for months less than top 10 dirty little johnny jokes minute later, there wasnt a sign of it in the.... S do this again passing notes he looks pretty chuffed with himself class a.... S not correct, let & # x27 ; s Dance, Soda Choice and... Periods so important of the room stop passing notes one egg here and there! But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasnt a sign of it in bathroom. Sunday school teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is another there, how many eggs will there?! Know that Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back the! Know the whole truth. jokeoftheday # dirtyjokes # humor got you my 10 favorite dirty. `` show. According to native lore a man rose from the earth is round `` this from! There all by yourself '' saying, `` No Miss, but hated... Choice, and Pre-Game Shouting Match next to his friends, its okay eggs will there be it spelled! Him yell to his friends, its okay does n't want a spanking? Little Johnny refers! Us how much is two and two s grandfather noticed her approaching, he wanted to.. Your recorder sir '' are your Most Useful Travel Tips Johnny replies `` I know the whole truth ''., Johnny asked, why are periods so important you learn that, Johnny dirtyjokes # humor you... Away at the bottom of the room stop passing notes in half asked what his magic. Loud, & quot ; girls have babies, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school for... Of the hill homework? Little Johnny joke refers to a Little Johnny, god is everywhere know. Minute later, he says, Ok now the detective one makes sense people will crack up once realize.
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