You may be thinking ohh her situation is different and their not all the same. Hi Ive been dating my boyfriend for almost two years now and hes an amazing guy and we love each other really strongly. Now she got his sister involved to help break us up. He just didn't say, incase it upset me. What makes you think you cant have a good relationship even though his child doesnt accept you? But just the other night he told me that we will get through this-weve hit a snag, but well get through it somehow. 2-As stated by . Because for the other things, theres a way to fix that. Their relationships are established, and extremely difficult to change. I was recently diagnosed with autism with aspbugers syndrome and making friends is not easy for me to make. Was it wrong for me to give up on him? INeedHelp He also pulls out the "I don't know how I'd live without you" or "I'd do something drastic if I'd really upset you" a little too often for me to be entirely comfortable (or indeed, trusting of it's validity). and shes is miserable. Just stay away from him. I understand it sounds cold of me to say, but to use the threat of suicidal behaviour as a bargaining chip in a relationship leaves me just feeling unsympathetic. HE MUST STAND UP FOR YOU. A-WAAY! While this can be a helpful resource for some, others are using these platforms to self-diagnose and potentially harm their mental health. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Im going to hold onto that thought. Lack of energy: Fatigue and lack of energy are symptomatic of depression, and some people find spending time with others too draining. I would tell him to call you back when he is ready to talk, say goodbye and hang up. I am still a secret to his family. And sometimes the problem with good men is that they want to make everyone happy. If we get into an argument (which is rare, because it doesn't progress so far as him replying), he'll just agree with me. I think you did great by breaking up with him, you are obviously not after money and u obviously tried so hard to be the girl to meet expectations. And he does not stand up for you, not even thn. Theres a quiet moment in Legally Blondes otherwise explosive courtroom scene thats usually overlooked. Started January 19, By what do I do? Tips on how to deal with a break up and move on with your life. He told me he really didnt care what they where saying about but some if it he listened to them about me. Distract yourself with something you enjoy . Be really careful with that guy. That might be a good way to break through the obstacles. My husband lets his aunt be mean to me. And I have a son with him and it makes me soo sad that his family is putting me and my baby to the side like we no both and my boyfriend wont do anything like a man they wouldnt allow that kind crap .. a real man would stand up in front of his family and tell then that Im his girlfriend and they have to give me respect .. That was all I got from him and we where not communicating at all he was going to his friends and telling them about everything in our relationship and getting advice from them. Some would say that it's unnecessary for your age and that compromising and working on a long-term relationship is something you'll have plenty of time for when you're forty and (possibly) with kids to think about, but I think it demonstrates that you're mature and responsible. Give him a few seconds to respond. I'm getting to the point where I want to get off the phone with him as fast as possible when he calls, because it's either to be upset at me, or to explain what his day was likewhich results in conversations based around "I went shopping, then I had lunch, then I played a board game with my family, then I had dinner" (etc. He is allowing his friends to mistreat you. But Im still not good enough. evenworse You are not alone. No way should you be coaxing him out of his funk, or whatever. Example; Motherinlaw made a nasty joke about undercooked turkeys on Thanksgiving having the same colour as your legs in winter. This morning, we had a conversation to follow up from the previous one, where his response to my laying out the problems was, "I'll try.". And yes I was in love with him. If your partner still feels like he has to get defensive every time an important conversation comes up, then it's probably a behavior he's used to which he just can't control. It would give about as much emotional support as my boyfriend. Well it depends on the situation. Do I Need To Tell Him I Cheated? Started Friday at 03:52 AM, By About me. Yes, my boyfriend is a decent family man and he does try to keep peace. And the worst part was that I was always in a bad mood because of him(I don't know if you've also reached this state yet). Stop doing it 'for' him. I'm not,however, in any way, implying your bf is as bad as this. Im the outcast. Its been 4 years since weve been together. I have every faith that you will meet another man who is emotionally mature and capable of being an actual partner to you. That is exactly what we should do when our boyfriends dont stand up for us. We're just starting a year of long distance, and I'm very dubious about it working out right now. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. 3. You and he may get back together if its right for both of you.and if its not right, then you wont reconnect. you are so right. Signs your relationship is over, plus help deciding how to move on after a breakup. This has been going on for a few years now, and I fear there may never be a positive resolution. He comes from a very conservative culture and he just cant tell his parents that he wants this relationship which they dont agree with for a religious stand point. Sorry it's a bit long I got carried away. That is just plain rude of him to ignore you and if it had been me on the receiving end of one of his silent treatments I would have said "when you can be bothered to talk to me, call me" and put the phone down. Imagine having to go through THAT everyday. L143myself Focus on changing the only person you have control over: you. Joke aside, I did have exactly the same problem. Don't stay in a relationship like this. I Love You, But: 10 Most Common Reasons Relationships Fail, How to Cope When Your Ex Has a New Girlfriend, Will Your Marriage Succeed? Ive been with him 13 yearsalso I have a lot of ties I have to break with him b4 I can do that. This might sound simplistic, but I would stop doing all the heavy lifting and observe whether or not he steps up to the plate on his own. It seems to me that he just wants constant attention from you. When you're dating a guy, you want to be able to talk to him about his emotions and you expect him to be able to express himself. Today was an example: I'm stressed at the moment because I'm about to go on a study year abroad, there's lots of packing and organising to do, and my brother's planning to visit right up until the day before I leave. Like tattle telling on me. Individual acts dont make a person toxic; toxic describes someone who feels comfortable in those acts and energized by those acts and who makes those acts the common approach to their relationships, writes Gary Thomas in When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People. He might just be a pussy that doesnt want to get into trouble for you. I can see that it is very draining on her, bearing in mind she also has two children (and one with special needs). Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Hes very supportive in some things ..and has some good traits which is why i lasted so long with himbut he is ONE of the most excruciating COWARDS Ive ever met in my life. and our I will give you my advice about what to do when your boyfriend wont stand up for you, and I truly truly hope you take it to heart. The problem is hes Muslim and Im not and his family doesnt accept that. Yes, I understand that, and yes - when he does get upset, he gets more upset than normalbut it gets to the point where I feel like I'm looking after a child, not that I'm in a relationship. Its not just about a relationship, western women are eyed as suspicious for many reasons i wont get into when it comes to Muslims. You cant force your boyfriends sister to be friends with you, or his friends to accept you, or his mom to treat you like her own kin. Answer (1 of 4): Sorry but I'm gonna be completely honest here. Forget religion, some Muslims even go as far as only marrying within their sub-ethnicity (for example a Pakistani wont tend to marry a Bangladeshi, and an Afghan wont marry a Pakistani their parents wont bless the union, and the men are so spineless they wont go against their parents wishes) so I cant stress enough for you to be careful that this guy is not just stringing you along, until his parents set him up with some chick). You both need to make an effort and he doesn't seem to be making any effort. How to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship, on quips and tips for love and relationships. But I'm now left playing the only supporting role in a relationship, and a lot of the time it feels like I might as well be in a relationship on my own. Question. "Hannah's boyfriend has . Often times, women say they want their husbands to stand up for them. He clearly already resents me for asking him to leave his beloved choice of residence at present and he throws it in my face when we fight. Where do you see yourself living and dying? Okay I need some help ! Experts say: No, you don't need to like your girlfriend's family. He talks down on me and my fiance gets mad at me because I stand up for myself and for things that are not true. The campaign, which includes a series of playful and humorous ads, aims to position Tinder as a fun and lighthearted platform for meeting new people. Its especially painful when you have a son together. I really need help and hope you can help. I remember several occassions in which I was unwantedly fondled in a club, and to which my boyfriend later replied; Ah just ignore em. He seemed to be quite careless with anything, whether it be a younger guy that tried dragging me away from a club, a salesman in Greece that grabbed my breasts or his own father, that kept jokingly slapping my behind, after which he whispered that he liked my hair. Also sister told him she better never see his cwr at my house ever again. Love advice for women and men, couples, and singles looking for love. I would stop expecting my boyfriend to stand up for me, and then Id stop being disappointed when he doesnt. Help knowing when to break up, so you can find a healthy relationship. Many of us find ourselves between jobs or out of work at some time or another in life. and with wonderful timing, as always in life, an ex-boyfriend has just got in touch with me again to see how things are going, and to tell me that he's living around my university area again, so it'd be good to catch up. 6. ", If one partner regularly feels alone, it could breed resentment and questions about the future. A lot of times he just talk without thinking and has said some insulting things to me as a joke and his behaviour changed dramatically. He sneaks around to see me, he pretends hes at work when he comes over to my house. I called her a name. Please don't get wrapped up in this man's shenanigans anymore.. it truly makes me sad to think of you wasting any more time dealing with such rubbish. We don't choose our feelings, it is an automatic reaction, and therefore I don't judge a person by his/ her feelings. If your boyfriend, one of his friends, or his family is bullying, ignoring or being rude to you and if theyre energized by their own actions then they may be toxic. He will not defend me even if he was paid high dollar to. Your email address will not be published. Davidgrx "If someone can't support you during an external conflict, they probably aren't going to support you in any other areas of your future, such as your career or having a family, Graber adds. I guarantee you if he is permitt. I tried coaxing him out of one of these silences originally because I was honestly worried about himand that stage at the very beginning of the relationship where everything is wonderful about the person, even their faults, made me sympathise with him - not find it annoying. And content measurement, audience insights and product development is ready to talk say..., others are using these platforms to self-diagnose and potentially harm their mental health out work! 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